Thoughts From 35,000: Tales From my Exit Row

I just got home from a trip and on this particular trip I had to work on our "big" plane...its not actually that big of a plane in comparison to others in our fleet.  The position I was working meant that I got to sit in that awkward jumpsuit in the exit row facing the passengers sitting in that row, which will usually illicit conversation or a staring competition followed by staring out the window.  Today I got both.  Grab your alcohol and let's do this!

Mr. and Mrs. Upgrade:  This couple boarded my plane as if they were movie stars and grumbled as they passed through first class and took their seats in the exit row.  Once boarding was finished they tried to peer from their seats to see anything open in first.  I can't judge because I have done it too however, when the gate agent walked back and upgraded 2 passengers that were not them, they immediately decided we were the worst airline ever! How dare we!  They sat in silence the entire flight all 4 hours of it.  Upon landing the person sitting next to them asked why they were in phoenix, they responded for the Phoenix Open.  The look on their faces when he called it the "wasted management open" was priceless (she was not impressed more offended and her husband was mad that someone let her in on what he got her into).  I wanted to comment that they were attending the drunkest golf tournament there is not Wimbledon, but I kept my pretty mouth shut and told them to have fun!

The Traveler and The Lady Boss:  Sitting right next to my jumpsuit were two women who until this fateful moment had never met!  I could tell this is where they usually sat because when I walked over all of their bags were neatly placed under the seat.  This is usually a conversation I have to have with all the passengers sitting there (you do have to put them on the floor and under the seat, the couple previously mentioned didn't like that either).  They were immediately engrossed in quick conversation, first the usually who are you and where do you come from but it evolved into a highly fascinating conversation.  One was smitten with Paris and shared all her stories about the city of lights and how she's become fearless about traveling all over the world.  The other woman shared her stories of starting her own chocolate business (you know I was really interested in eavesdropping on that conversation).  Her chocolates are made unlike any others and because of that they have a very earthy taste to them and are not all that bad for you!  I walked away from that conversation dreaming of Paris at the end of the month and of eating tons and tons of chocolate, which reminds me I need to find her store!  These were some seriously inspiring women!

The Engaged:  If you have ever flown into Charlotte you know that you land and then you practically drive across state lines to actually get to the gates so while we drove to the airport the two men in my exit row began to chat about life.  Come to find out the young man in the aisle was recently engaged.  He started telling the already married gentleman in the window about how he did it and how freaking nervous he was.  The gentleman told him that was how he knew it was right, nervousness and being scared is ok, his son had just gotten engaged as well and felt the exact same way.  AMEN.  I listened and smiled all the way to gate about proposals, wedding plans, and their lives.

Pilot 1 and Pilot 2:  Sometimes you end up with people on your plane who will share their whole story with you, who you end up having real conversations with knowing when the flight ends you will never cross paths again.  This happened with Pilot 1&2 that night.  Immediately the one who was sharing leg room with me asked about my trip and where else we had to go that night, the usual small talk between two people in the same line of work.  The somehow we started talking about our dreams and what we wanted out of life.  He was working for our regional carrier but planning on making the jump to main line in the near future.  He lived in Charolette, bought a house and learned how to be a grown-up over the years.  Now he speaks to new pilots and teaches in his off time.  I told him about my love for the law and he urged me to go to law school, Harvard has online classes now right?  Pilot 2 talked about his family and pilot life on reserve and how to have a life and love your job in this line of work.  We laughed and chatted about everything and nothing.  They grabbed their bags and Pilot 1 parting words were go out and see the world, have fun, then do whatever you want, best of luck!

Like I said in my first post in this series I get to meet all these people everyday, some I talk about with admiration and some I talk about with disgust.  You never meet the same person with the same story twice though.  Till next week!

xxx
B

Hello Darling: The Rules of Being a Lady

I recently read an article on the rules governing what makes a gentleman, and I thought, why haven't I ever read something like this for women! Sure there are books on manners and how to host a dinner party and of course, the "how to win a husband" ones but why can't I just find a quick read on how to be a modern lady. I quickly began compiling a list of things I believe in, have been told by my mother, or have observed from women I am in awe of.  As the list fell together not only did I have a better sense of the woman I am becoming everyday,  I knew I had to share this with as many other women as possible.  So without further adieu, my rules!

1. Read: read the news, read books, read people
2. Invest in stationary: now send letters weekly
3. Find your signature scent
4. Call your parents: we often forget as we get older that they to are getting older and they miss the little kids we used to be
5. Embrace your tribe: these are your people, they have your back when you can't get out of bed and when you are on top of the world                                                           
6. Color your hair: but remember that the color you were born with was given to you for a reason but go crazy.  Just don't forget your roots
7. Stop judging: others and yourself
8. Drink Bourbon: know when and how to do so
9. Play dress up
10. Learn to listen: listen to everyone, you never know when you will need someone to hear you or what you will learn by hearing others
11. Be gracious: always
12. Learn to dance
13. Learn to cook: know 3 recipes well and experiment from there.  You will cook for lovers, friends and the family of your lover as well as your family so it's a skill worth cultivating
14. Travel: alone, and with someone. Go out and explore. Find yourself in cities and people all around the world
15. Photograph everything: the internet holds most of our memories now but print out pictures and keep them in books 
16. Call your grandparents: they want to know you are ok, they also have the best advice and recipes
17. Invest:  in your shoes, your bed, and your coats
18. Eat alone:  find a place where you can grab a seat and enjoy your own company
19. Go on dates: with yourself, "treat yo self"
20. Workout: how you want and when you want.  French women walk to cafes, some women run marathons, do what you love
21. Shoot: get comfortable with a gun in your hands
22. Gamble: learn to play poker
23. Party: gather everyone around a table and have yourself a dinner party
24. Love hard: give boys(or girls) a chance to know you and love you.  The greatest love is that which you have for yourself and the love you give to those around you without needing it in return.  LOVE HARD 
25. Collect art
26. Wear vintage
27. Cultivate your passions
28. Know how to walk in 6" heels but always have black flats in your bag
29. Invest in a beautiful handbag
30. Don't Settle:  in any aspect of your life
31. Kiss the gentleman 
32. Find your "style"
33. Take care of your skin
34. Get manicures and pedicures
35. When you meet the family, bring them something special
36. Write thank you's 
37. Stand up for yourself and for others
38. Buy the drinks sometimes
39. Learn a language (or 2 or 3)
40. Put away electronics: you will enjoy those couple hours without interruption
41. Write your own stories: every day
42. Know the dress code: when in doubt overdress
43. Buy fresh flowers
44. Laugh and make those around you laugh
45. Find your signature red lip
46. Know when to say no but never say no to an adventure
47. Have lunch with the women you admire and pick their brains because they have stood where you do and they know things you do not
48. Accept nothing less than the best from the men you allow into your life.  He should open doors for you and never leave you wondering how he feels about you
49. High standards are not high maintenance
50. Maturity doesn’t mean age; it means sensitivity, manners, and how you react
51. Give your time to the people who need it most
52. Prioritize: you don't have to have it all together but you should be put together
53. Do not gossip, just don't
54. Drama is best served on a stage or in a movie not in your life
55. Wit is admirable, learn to dish it with ease
56. Care too much
57. Become unforgettable
58. Be kind: overly kind, kind to everyone, cultivate kindness in every aspect of your life
59. Embrace your flaws: they very well might be your greatest strengths
60. Remember that you are allowed to be a masterpiece and a work of art simultaneously
61. Believe in fairytales
62. Always tell the truth
63. Never stop learning: intelligence is utterly sexy
64. You know what else is sexy, confidence! Own who you are and who you are becoming
65. On that note: continue evolving
66. Understand that ambition is not a dirty word
67. Wear pretty things under your pretty things, even better under you sweats
68. Be able to use and understand sarcasm, it is a sign of social competence
69. Being a good person will never go out of style
70. Embrace the ability to tell people what they mean to you
71. Do not ever pressure anyone into anything, this includes your boyfriend and putting a ring on it
72. Compliment everyone
73. Years, lovers, and glasses of wine are things that should never be counted
74. How you treat people will ultimately always describe the kind of person you are
75. Love people through the worst of times and in the best of times.  You have the ability to change someones life with love, never take that for granted
76. "You're a woman, bring every man you meet to his knees"

There is nothing sexier than a woman who knows who she is and where she is going.   You are amazing now go out and change the world!

I would love to keep adding to this list so please add all your rules in the comments!

xxx

B

Wear Lipstick That is Too Dark

I have a real flair for the dramatics, especially when it comes to dressing and my lipstick choices.  In my new found career though I spend most days in Polyester-Wool Blend uniforms.  I value the occasional brunch that deserves heels and I have come to terms with dressing up for no reason other than to run errands.  I have also learned that sometimes in life you just have to put on the killer "fashion girl" outfit, wear lipstick that is too dark, and blast some Taylor Swift or gangster rap.  This among these next 10 lessons are what I have learned while surviving my pre-quarter life crisis.

Lipstick: Marc Jacobs / Top: Kate Spade (worn backwards) / Pants: JCrew

lesson #1: Everyone fails in their 20's
      I kid you not, everyone.  Just google someone you admire or who aspire to be like and see where they were in their 20's.  This when you get to quit jobs and travel.  This is when you figure out who you are and what you want.  So go out and fail.  Fail hard.  Keep doing it again and again until you find yourself and what you want.

lesson #2: Keep kissing losers
      Kiss all of them! Kissing burns calories (see below).  Kissing releases endorphins and those make you happy.  Kissing losers will make appreciate the winner when you kiss him too.  So keep kissing!

lesson #3: Eat the cupcakes (and popeye's and pizza and all the other "bad" food)
      There is nothing wrong with indulging in the delicious things in life.  Enjoy them because one day they will make you really fat and it won't be fun anymore.  So for now indulge and if you feel like you must, go to the gym or a hot yoga class.

lesson #4: Leave your comfort zone
      For me, it was leaving all the sure and practical options behind and taking up life at 35000 feet.  If it terrifies you, you should do it.  Someone famous once said that but I can't remember who.  The farther you get from your comfort zone the more you learn about yourself.  (one more way to discover who you are!)

lesson #5: Wear ballgowns to lunch and heels to the grocery store
      You have to get it where you can!  Dress up for no reason at all.  Or do the opposite and don't dress up, wear sweats all day and be really effing comfortable!  You can never be overdressed, because if you are people will just think you are coming from somewhere better or going somewhere better.  Also, if you are in leggings with a giant shirt on people think you just came from a spin class with Victoria's Secret models but,  jokes on them because you might have just rolled out of bed, they'll never know!

lesson #6: Find your red
      Of the 10 red lipsticks I own, there are 2 I love.  I have yet to find the exact shade of red I truly want to become my signature red, though.  Red lipstick fixes everything and it makes you look like a badass so find your shade.

lesson #7: Find your moisturizer
      Mine is Clinique Superdefense.  It is a daily moisturizer with SPF and prevents aging.  It also combats free radicals and radiation which I am exposed to at higher than normal levels being a flight attendant.  You want to be a hot 30-year-old and an even hotter 40/50/60-year-old so start treating your skin right now.  Give it the best chance it has against what life will throw at it.

lesson #8: You don't have to party like you did in college to be a cool kid
      Don't get me wrong, I can still party, but it is no longer something I find myself obligated to do.  While I can no longer drink frat boys under the table, you'll almost never find me dancing on a table, and I spend more nights enjoying a glass of wine instead of handles of flammable vodka, that doesn't mean a good time isn't necessary sometimes.  There are a million other ways to be a cool kid too, though.  Go out and have a good time if you want to but this is not recruitment, you are no longer required to be blackout.

lesson #9: Drink the wine, the whiskey, the vodka and the Pina Coladas
       Stock you bar cart for the rainy day drink, the roommate had a shit day drink, you had a shit day drink, the celebratory drink, and the well we have the alcohol so we should drink it, drink.  We always have at least one bottle of wine in the house.  Currently, we have 4 bottles of wine and vodka, we are clearly ready to party!  Champagne Thursday is also a holiday everyone should celebrate (it is ok if Thursday comes every day too)

lesson #10: Find your Band of Bitches:  Mine are scattered all over the world.  I have a few fabulous queens who give me life and who are the most fabulous bitches I know.  I have two roommates who are the Destiny to my Child (G is Beyonce).  Then there is Miss Arkansas who I swear is my soulmate.  And of course, there is my little hippie dream aka training roomie!  Then there are the original bitches who are mentioned in the orginal band of bitches post.  Everyone needs a band, and coming from the girl who is really good at being alone, if I think you need one, you do.

Bag: Target customized by Me / Sandals: Target

 xxx
B

Single and Never Sure How to Mingle

Several months ago I decided on being single for 18 months (a la Taylor Swift) and well now that I am quickly approaching 1 year of being "super" single, I decided we should revisit the issue or better yet the journey.

As I write this I am cup number 2 of coffee (new favorite Glazed Chocolate Donut) and have found out that yet another ex is married, I am pretty sure every ex I have ever had is in a serious relationship.  I am just here being cool, drinking coffee and champagne, buying expensive clothes, and traveling the world.

Needless to say I am a hopeless romantic and let's stress the hopeless part because let's be honest, who wants to date someone who spends 75+ hours a month in the air and is rarely sure where she is, where she is going, or when she will be home.  Now for the romantic part, well I want the flowers and the whole fairytale thing but I also want to be left alone sometimes so maybe I am just really confused on what a girl has to do to find her prince charming.  I also refuse to kiss any frogs so that idea is a no go!  But you have to ask what does a girl gotta do to get some consistency?

If you asked me, I would tell you that all I really want is someone who is constant, no mess, no confusion, just simple relationship.  I realize that what I am looking for only exists in an alternate reality.  Is it that hard to just like someone though and let that be enough?  I don't think so, we are a society inclined to endless options, why have one when you can have two, always scared of commitment or connecting with someone too much, a fear of missing out fuels the egotistic and un-monogamous views of society.  This is my downfall in the dating scene because I literally cannot talk to multiple people at one time, someone ends up slowly getting pushed out and then all my eggs are in one basket (no pun intended).  But everyone else is doing it so why can't I figure out how to casually date till I find the one worth keeping around?  I have never been a casual person, unless it comes to my wardrobe but even then you'll find me in a ball gown for brunch on occasion.  So again I ask what's a girl gotta do? 

I'm starting to think that if I can casually date people that one has to actually end up being worth my time but how annoying that I had to waste my time with the guys who don't work out, not to mention probably share personal details of my life and what not while I was at it.  My life might end up being a real life bachelorette season.  Maybe that is exactly what a girls gotta do, open up and see what happens!  Which leads me to my next adventure, giving guys a chance, date and share my life with a few people and see if I find Prince Charming.  I think a few times I could have found him, maybe if I had tried just little harder, told him how I felt, risked a little more.  Maybe you have to risk more in life.

“Life is too damn short and [screwed] up to go through it silently loving someone and never telling them how you feel. [Screw] the consequences, [screw] the implications of the actions, to hell with it all… whatever happens as a result is better than the nothingness that is inevitable with silence.”

—	Janis Joplin  (via wordsnquotes)

Then again being single, chugging champagne, and traveling the world has been pretty great thus far.  At the end of the day I'm not going to settle for someone who thinks I'm anything less than extraordinary, better yet magical and if right now I'm the only one who see that then I would rather be single.

“This is not a girl who waits by the phone. This is a girl who picks up the phone and calls whoever she wants.”

—	BJ Novak on Mindy Kaling (via woman-rebel)

This could be forever, or it could go down in flames...(thank you Taylor for writing another song about me)

What's a darling to do?

xxx
B

You Were Born to Fly

I should have known that "12 days of Blyss" was never going to work, I am famous for underestimating how busy I actually am and thus found myself unable to post or stay ahead of my posting schedule so I could follow through on this mission of mine.  However, the 12 days are now up and with the new year here I would like to share with you some lessons I learned last year.

1. GO.  Just leave you don't need to plan or explain.
2. Keep in touch.  The majority of my friends now are not just a quick drive away.  They are scattered all over the country.  We have to stay in touch and now its just done in hour long phone calls and random text messages. 
3. There is no shame in taking a step back.  I had to move home this year to figure out what they hell I was doing. But remember to take two steps forward after your step back.
4. When in doubt of anything watch an 80's movie.  They are filled with witty remarks, grand gestures, and the greatest love stories and the best endings.
5. Enjoy the little moments and invest in the things that make you smile.
6. No one knows what they are doing, especially in their twenties.  Anyone who tells you different is a liar.
7. Allow people to leave you.  They need to, you might not understand it but you must allow it.  
8. Keeping that last one in mind, edit your life ruthlessly.  Get rid of anything, anyone, and everything that you no longer need.  Do this often and without apology.
9. Travel.  As often as you can and as far as you can.  See the world! Realize your place in it.
10. Find yourself.  It is going to hurt like hell, it is going to bring about a lot of changes but in the end it is the greatest thing you can do for yourself.

These are just a few of the many lessons life taught me this year.  It was quite a year to say the least.  So now to kick off this new year I have come up with some resolutions.  First off I am going to learn a new language probably french because it sounds expensive.  Next I am going to embrace uncertainty, I am a girl with a plan but this year maybe a few less.  I also resolve to learn how to throw a punch, how to shot a gun, shotgun a beer, and play poker.  A girl should be able to hang with boys, drink tea with the queen and roll with the girls.  Lastly I am going to surprise myself everyday and maybe along the way do something truly incredible.  This is my year and I hope it is yours as well.

xxx

B